Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
two words...techno handjob
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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