its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
