YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
