i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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