Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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