oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Two words: blizzard sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
