I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
