I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
