Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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