What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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