I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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