she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
