Define "chronic" masturbator.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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