is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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