Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
