Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
