I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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