K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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