Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
