The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
