I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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