I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
