so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
