Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
