I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
