What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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