Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize