So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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