god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
