Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
