i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
