Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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