She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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