I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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