Nicole vs. Life
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
