Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
