Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
