I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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