i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
