Ambien. No doubt about it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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