he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
