Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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