Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize