My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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