i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
