That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize