: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Randomize
