tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
