coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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