if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize