is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
