Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
