im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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