He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
