do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize