She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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