this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
