We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
