Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
