He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
